Change Can be a Good Thing

When I worked for community mental health, I had a coworker who was envious of the travel that John and I engaged in.  She would always say that she wanted to travel like that, but had kids, so couldn’t.  She also warned me that if we had a kid, we wouldn’t travel either.  I found out I was pregnant on a trip and came up positive on my “zwangerzap” in Amsterdam.  I remember thinking that our life as we knew it was ending.  The midwife I saw in Middelburg, Netherlands even said, “You’re life, poof, “ when she found out that it was our first child.  And this was true, life as we knew it had gone away in an ultrasound.

But our travel didn’t stop.  We deliberately made choices to get Oscar ready for travel.  He went on his first plane ride before he was a year old, had books about planes, airports and we planned for that first transatlantic flight with our actions.  He left the country and hit Toronto on a road trip at 8 months old and we’ve just always made travel a part of his life.  We love to travel and he just has to go along.  We don’t think about how we make our kids go to the store, be present for chores, go to grandma’s house, because that’s life.  They have to be around us going to work, taking care of the house, etc.  We just chose to keep traveling with a baby.

We deliberately made choices to get Oscar ready for travel.

Traveling with a kid has not always been fun because there is a new layer of stress when you worry about your baby crying, screaming, upsetting other passengers in a plane or other public transport.  But it has some serious upsides that far outweigh the negatives. Everyone is appreciative when he is even somewhat good.  Oscar has been told on numerous flights that he was awesome, so good, etc because he was just sitting there and not making much noise.

A kid gets extra perks that normal people don’t.  Oscar has been allowed into the cockpit of planes more than I have ever even seen them.  He gets to jump to the front of the line, he gets extra treats and extra attention because he’s a kid who’s usually being good.  We have benefitted from this added attention plenty. I have to say that I’m a little bit worried about when he grows up and isn’t cute anymore.  All my perks that come along with him will go away too.

I enjoy the enthusiasm and little kid wonder that comes with him seeing the sights I have seen before.

The extra chocolate from Swiss Air, the help getting a stroller on a city bus in Rome, jumping the customs line that is hours long in Dublin’s airport at the start of a pandemic, extra attention from the tour guides or docents because they’re so appreciative of a kid that is interested.  And that’s just the stuff that comes from others because of him. I enjoy the enthusiasm and little kid wonder that comes with him seeing the sights I have seen before.  He reminds me that even the small things in the world are interesting and enjoyable. 

  So, don’t let anyone tell you that something you do or love will have to change when you have kids, get married, get divorced, graduate school, change jobs, or make any change in your life.  When something is important to you and you love it, your new circumstances will make room for it.  The new circumstance might even improve your relationship to it.